Comic Relief
by TreCoolIsMyBitch
Summary: When writers' block has got you down, turn that frown upside down! Here is a strange little break from the norm, think of it as a commercial, a very funny, random commercial!
1. Sleep Talk

_A/N: I'm not a huge DBZ fan, but even if you're not either, I'd read this if I were you if it's a laugh you desire. Partial credit goes of RainShadowCK for co-writing almost all of these stories. And if you have any suggestions for future chapters (It doesn't have to be about DBZ, either, it can be about Green Day if you so choose.) I'll be sure to give you credit when I post it!_

**#1: Sleep Talk**

Vegeta tossed and turned irritably in bed, sleep somehow abandoned him for the now snoring Bulma. Sighing loudly, he turned away from his slumbering wife, muttering under his breath.

"Stupid woman snores so damn loud, I can barely hear myself think."

"Honey?" inquired a groggy voice next to him, "I have a confession. I killed the pope, raped him, and stuffed his body in our mattress." Bulma said, sleepiness acting upon her like a drug. Vegeta shot up from his laying position abruptly.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, WOMAN!" he yelled, infuriated.

The noise jolted Bulma from her dream world.

"Wha--? What? Huh? Who died now?" She queried, clearly bewildered. Vegeta turned to face her and pressed his hand on her cheek.

"You just said you raped and killed the pope!" He replied sternly, more confused.

Bulma replied in a tone of shock. "What are you _talking_ about! I was sound asleep until you yelled." She raised an eyebrow at her husband, "You must've been dreaming or something." She ended the conversation with a loud snore, leaving Vegeta checking the mattress for the "dead pope's" body. His hand retrieved only some condoms.

"I was wondering where I put those." With a crooked smirk he finally drifted to sleep, still in a state of confusion.

_A/N: I really had a dream like this... except I raped the pope, killed him, then stole his pope-mobile!_ **OO**


	2. Pigmy Puffs: Featuring Green Day

**#2: Pigmy Puffs! (Featuring Green Day)**

Trunks cautiously approached his father's bedroom door. Whispering from the other side prodded at his curiosity. He skillfully and soundlessly turned the doorknob and peered through the opening. To much of his shock, his father, Vegeta, was stooped over a small wire cage. In the bottom of the cage, two small balls of fur were rolling around, one's fur was an odd shade of green, and the other was blond; Vegeta was stroking a third black one, resting in the palm of his hand.

"Daddy loooves you! Who are Daddy's wittle babies?" Vegeta cooed quietly, "That's wite, youw awre." He smiled, causing Trunks to wail.

"DAD!"

Vegeta jumped, startled.

"I… Um… These…" he gestured toward the cage.

Trunks' eyes widened in horror. Vegeta smiled sheepishly, and then suddenly became stern.

"You will speak of this to _no one_, boy. Understand?"

Trunks merely nodded, rooted to the spot in udder shock. Tremors shook through his body. Then, as if smacked in the face, Trunks fled from the room. Vegeta smirked, then, turning to his three Pigmy Puffs, plastered on a face only a freakish obsessed nerd could contain at a science convention.

"Now, my wittle babies, I have a new friend for you." He said, producing a hot pink Pigmy Puff, and placing her in the cage. "I'll just get some food," Vegeta turned his back to retrieve some food and was startled by a loud popping sound. Turning around quickly, he saw that the tiny cage had erupted with baby Pigmy Puffs, all green, black, blond, or hot pink.

"HOLY FUCK! THOSE FUCKING FUCKERS CAN FUCK FUCKING FAST!" He shrieked, not knowing that the Pigmy Puffs could breed at such a rate. He dropped the bag of food as the original Pigmy Puffs somehow acquired miniature electric and bass guitars and a tiny drum set, amps, microphones, and the whole shebang. All of the "children" formed a giant mosh pit to the squeaky version of American Idiot, being bellowed out by the black Pigmy Puff as it strummed a guitar while the green one was playing the tiny drum set and the blond plucking on the bass.


	3. Tattoo?

**WARNING:**_ THIS CHAPTER HAS VERY EXPLICIT CONTENT AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY SMALL CHILDREN, OR BIG BABIES! **NO FLAMES!**_

**#3: Tattoo?**

"Mom, I'll be home around 4:00, I'm going to train with Gohon." Trunks said, stepping out of the house.

"Alright, dear, bye!" Bulma yelled after him as the door slammed. She walked over to Vegeta and stroked his chest.

"Now that we're alone…" she purred seductively, coaxing a lazy smirk from Vegeta.

"Oh, please, woman." He turned, pretending to be uninterested. Bulma frowned.

"Awww… c'mon…!" she wined. Vegeta grabbed her and picked her up bridal style. She moaned and winked. He flew to the bedroom and shut the door. He undressed and Bulma glanced at his lower back to see a tattoo that said, "I heart my Piggly-Wiggly."

"Ohhh, I love your Piggly-Wiggly, too." She cooed, thinking the tattoo was referring to his ahem.

He turned around and smirked as he put on a condom. He playfully tackled her onto the bed where the proceeded to, for lack of a better word, fuck.

Trunks, on the other hand had come home early and happened to open his parent's bedroom door in the middle of their—uh—game. At first, they didn't notice him since Bulma would moan the occasional, 'Harder, faster, deeper." And Vegeta was clearly enjoying it. Trunks was staring at the particular tattoo.

"'I heart my Piggly-Wiggly'?" Trunks managed to squeak.

"HOLY SHIT, BOY! GET OUT!"

Bulma was too deep in a climax to say anything but, "Uhh... harder. Fuck me to oblivion."

Trunks dashed out of the room, forever scared with the mental image of his parents "doing it."


End file.
